Included Below: Intimations / Love Story / Things Fell Apart / Win Some, Lose Some / I’m Leaving It. Click HERE for further information about this newsletter. To those from before and those who are new-
I. WELCOME
Friday the 13th.
I remember it was March 13th, 2020 when we were told not to come into the office. Friday the 13th. Funny how time and dates and numbers have a way of being meaningful. Or maybe we just impart that meaning on them?
Two years later things are opening up! For real this time! This is supposed to be a happy and positive thing, but to be honest, I just feel even more confused. Is this real? Are places and being around people actually safe? Or is it more of a - we are all exhausted and give up - kind of safe? I really don’t know.
What’s unfortunate to me is a feeling of erasure of the last two years. A lot has happened and to not continue to reckon or wrestle or attempt to understand what in the hell went wrong, that would truly be a disservice. There are places that hold the memories of the last two years. Not as a reflection, but as it happened.
Whenever I stumble on to a new podcast, I go further back and listen to older episodes. When I recently did this, I came across the ‘pandemic episodes’ - you can tell, they are usually poorly recorded on Zoom. I was never a fan of the ‘Zoom Interview’ but these ones caught me off guard. They were interviews from right after that Friday the 13th. There’s an odd rawness to them - scared at times, not taking things serious at other times. It made me think that we have this entire documentation of the pandemic unfolding in real time. And not as any official record, just people who happened to have microphones and computers and people to talk to.
Zadie Smith published a book a few months into the pandemic called Intimations. I thought I’d revisit it, attempt to see the last two years through different eyes. Too soon? Maybe we should forget? At least for a little while? There was some anger in Smith’s book, but also it just seemed like she was merely trying to capture little details as though she was afraid of forgetting them.
It’s my opinion that I’m happy to forget for a short amount of time, but at some point, it would be in our best interest to sift through all these documentations that happened and learn from them. Smith’s essays are also about time, the fragile nature of it, and how we filled it before as opposed to how it existed during the pandemic. And, I would add, how time is changing once again as things open up.
War transforms its participants. What was once necessary appears inessential; what was taken for granted, unappreciated and abused now reveals itself to be central to our existence. Strange inversions proliferate… And yet, in my case, I can’t let it go: old habits die hard. I can’t rid myself of the need to do “something,” to make “something,” to feel that this new expanse of time hasn’t been “wasted.” Still, it’s nice to have the company. Watching this manic desire to make or grow or do “something,” that now seems to be consuming everybody, I do feel comforted to discover I’m not the only person on this earth who has no idea what life is for, nor what is to be done with all this time aside from filling it. ——— from Intimations by Zadie Smith.
Q - How are you navigating through this re-opening?
II. TALES FROM THE DREAM ROOM
Each month welcomes an exclusive story from a parallel world.
The Dream Room is a place that where everything is interconnected. The sights and sounds and people that inhabit this world feel familiar. The tales pulled from the Dream Room are sometimes true and sometimes fiction, they may scare you or make you laugh. The Dream Room is a place not to be taken lightly and if you’re ready to enter, read the excerpt below and click on the link for the full story.
LOVE ONE STEP AT A TIME: We noticed each other from the first moment we crossed paths. Our eyes locked - she puffed away on a cigarette, shuffled along the sidewalk in tiny steps. If she noticed me in any other way then a cursory and polite glance, I couldn’t tell. We both stood on the corner waiting for the traffic light to change, and once we did, we walked across the street side-by-side. On the other side of the street, we parted ways in opposite direction. I paused, turned around, and watched as she walked away. Remembering the impending curfew, I hustled back home.
There was very little room for love in the modern lifestyle. What usually passed for love was more companionship. Two people around the same age and doing the same kind of work combined their sources of income. It just made life easier. Over the years, love just got pushed out of the equation.
Taking that same route every day, I kept seeing her puffing away as she passed me. Crossed the street at the same time. I confidently determined these were not mere cursory glances anymore. We had entered each other’s orbit by chance, but now intentionally crept closer and closer.
Read the whole story at this link.
This has no relation to the story, it’s just my favourite love song:
Q - What’s your favourite love song?
III. PAUL’S PICKS.
A recommendation of something watched, read, or listened to.
Ever since hearing his early BBC shows, I’ve been a fan of Jon Ronson’s audio work and books such as The Men Who Stare at Goats, The Psychopath Test, and Lost at Sea. In recent years, Ronson has transitioned from radio (BBC and lots of This American Life stories) to podcasting with shows like The Butterfly Effect and The Last Days of August. But, I have to say, his latest podcast, Things Fell Apart, is so good that I basically binged the entire eight episodes over the course of some very long weekend walks.
Basically, Ronson takes a divisive story, belief, or concept and goes back in time to figure out how it became such a lightning rod. From the description: “Behind every seismic culture clash in American history, there are real human stories about how it all began. Ronson discovers the real people at the heart of America’s most vicious culture wars - from sex education and gay liberation to legal abortion and beyond. Hear about how these clashes started from the people who were on the front lines.”
Subscribe to Things Fell Apart on Apple Podcasts. Somewhat related, here’s a weird and wild movie called Frank that was based on a (real life) story by Jon Ronson.
Q - Any new podcast recommendations?
IV. FROM THE ARCHIVES.
An old story from my blog brought to you in a new way.
WIN SOME, LOSE SOME (DECEMBER 2018): Sure, I have noticed that I’m slowing down. Yeah, I’m having a hard time sleeping past seven in the morning, as though someone is warning me: Hey, you’re running out of time. I used to be a night person, which is sometimes still the case. None of this stuff really bothers me that much.
One of the things that hasn’t really changed as I’ve gotten older is the need and desire to try new things. Instead of narrowing my options and measuring things on whether they make me more comfortable, I keep figuring out new things. This doesn’t mean I don’t fail in spectacular ways or feel any less anxiety about stuff. On the contrary, I screw up all the time and no matter how much experience I gain in a certain area, I’ll still be freaking out right before doing it.
Read the whole story at this link.
Q - What is something that makes you feel older? What is something that makes you feel younger?
V. WATCH, LISTEN, READ, OR DO.
Something to take with you.
It wasn’t exactly King Lear, but I did write one book during the pandemic called I’m Leaving It and Other Stories. I just forgot to tell anyone about it. It just never felt like the right time. And now, I’ve moved on to another book. I want to start amplifying this a bit more because some really talented people worked on it, and there’s some pretty good writing in it too. Ellen Yu designed the cover and all the logos for this newsletter. Zlatina Pacheva did some wonderfully hilarious illustrations for inside the book. Go look up those two as they are doing very cool things.
As for the book, if anyone is interested I can send you a free ebook. Or, if you’re an audiobook-kind of person, I’ve released most of the stories over on the Storytime with Paul Dore podcast. Either way, it’s good stuff, and I encourage you to check it out!
Here’s what it’s about: this collection of stories has it all - action, adventure, love, death, car crashes, and a trip to the Olympic Games. The title comes from the unfortunate combination of an elbow and a prominent nose during a figure skating mishap. The book is split into four parts. Love explores all the ways he has failed at finding The One. Identity mixes fiction and reality into compelling and suspenseful narratives. True Stories, I Swear, well, is a series of true stories. Nowhere to go but up reveals the difficulties of recovering from a near-deadly car accident.
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve included a question at the end of each section. No, this isn’t required homework. However, if you are compelled to write to me with your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. Who knows, I might even share some of the answers in future newsletters (anonymously, of course). Email me here: jpd@pauldore.com.
February 2022 Edition: Maps / History of Dreaming / Unreconciled / Riverdale Park / Stories We Don’t Tell.
Great work as always Paul