Included Below: Quitting / Montreal / Nanette / Widows & Divorcees / I’m Leaving It. Click HERE for further information about this newsletter. To those from before and those who are new-
I. WELCOME!
Quitting is underrated.
Down below I’ve included some information about the show Nanette by Hannah Gadsby. One of the main threads of the standup special was that it was a comedy show about quitting comedy. People really took Gadsby literally, which strangely I’ve noticed people are doing more and more of these days. But that’s an entirely different topic. To me, the notion of her quitting comedy was a metaphor that enabled her access to a portal to talk about other things. She wasn’t actually quitting. She’s even done an entirely new show since then.
There is tons of stuff going on in Nanette (and in the accompanying book), but I did get stuck on this notion of quitting. I’ve really pulled back my social media presence, which has profoundly positive affects on my mental health (even with the little tiny bit I was doing). Plus, I’m too old for social media now. Connected to this is that it’s pretty much impossible to be an author or independent writer without being on social media. Which is sad and unfortunate, not just for my own stuff, but that it’s a general requirement for everyone. With my favourite authors, I’d rather them putting their creative energies and efforts into their next book rather then the obligatory five tweets a day they need to pump out.
It’s not like my books were flying off the shelves or anyone was buying up my movie scripts and ideas for television shows. And this isn’t some attention-seeking thing whereas I need people to convince me to not quit writing. Besides, I’m not quitting. Nanette just made me re-think how I approach it and where I want to put my efforts. What is fulfilling for me and what are things that I can perhaps let go of. We’ll see what happens now.
Here is a stock image of a man quitting his job:
Q - Is there something you’ve quit that was positive thing in your life?
II. TALES FROM THE DREAM ROOM
Each month welcomes an exclusive story from a parallel world.
The Dream Room is a place that where everything is interconnected. The sights and sounds and people that inhabit this world feel familiar. The tales pulled from the Dream Room are sometimes true and sometimes fiction, they may scare you or make you laugh. The Dream Room is a place not to be taken lightly and if you’re ready to enter, read the excerpt below and click on the link for the full story.
NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS IN MONTREAL: I’m going to get a lot of flack for the title of this story. I’m okay with because it’s true. I’ve only been to Montreal three times and every one of them was terrible in their own way. This is a true story about the last time I was there.
I would like to back up and include this anecdote. It’ll make sense by the end. Lucy was living with me and she often told me about the man that came out from behind the washing machine at night. Should’ve been a red flag. There were a lot of red flags in that relationship. I must have gone temporarily colour blind. Anyway, in my place there was a walk-in closet and inside was the washing machine and clothes dryer. She explained to me that every night, the man who lived behind the washing machine came out and stood over us. I have no definitive proof that this didn’t happen, but I also live in the world and so don’t need proof that she was fucking with me as she often did.
Fast forward a few weeks and we are driving to Montreal. I have arranged an AirBnb in the artistic neighbourhood of Mile End. An old house, one that would make it easy for us to check out the city. It was the tail-end of winter and still very cold in Montreal. We found the AirBnb and drove around behind the house to park. Because it’s so cold in Montreal, the roads freeze with thick layers of ice. But ice with giant holes in it. So when I got halfway down the laneway, my car got stuck in a giant hole. After a long time and several annoyed French drivers that wanted me out of their way, I finally pushed the car out of the hole, having to run along side the car, and jump in.
Great start.
Read the whole story at this link.
Q - If you’ve been to Montreal or maybe even live there and had a good time, let me know. I would like to change my perspective on it.
III. PAUL’S PICKS
A recommendation of something watched, read, or listened to.
But what can I say? There is just never a straight line to be found through a life punctuated by trauma. — Hannah Gadsby / Ten Steps to Nanette.
By now, I feel it’s a fair assumption to say that most people on my email list have probably seen Nanette. If you haven’t, I’m not necessarily saying to run out and watch it now, although maybe I should. It’s not exactly comfortable viewing.
My bourgeoning obsession with art history did not translate into an improvement in my grades. I didn’t care, my brain was alive. If making people laugh was my lifeline, then thinking about art became my pleasure, it calmed my thinking in a way that nothing else could. I would take all the puzzles and questions it threw up at me and roll the fingers of my thinking over them, searching for possible answers and solutions. I didn’t care if I couldn’t find any. It was the thinking that gave me joy. Thinking about art history made me feel safe, because, unlike the real world, it felt like a puzzle I could solve. It gave me a window into the world that terrified and confused me so much, like little air vents in my trapped existence. And I was indeed trapped. Trapped in my body and trapped in a very small town. I was so well trapped that I believed my pain was a natural law, like gravity. — Hannah Gadsby / Ten Steps to Nanette.
It was one of those pieces of work that landed right at the right time and made quite the splash. The standup special was pretty incredible and it pairs well with Gadsby’s just released Ten Steps to Nanette. The last bit of the book focuses on her standup and the process of writing the show, but what was amazing was how the entire book works together. The first half is mostly about her upbringing and how she interacted with the world. Interesting stuff on its own, but once she gets into how she actually integrates certain things into her standup, and specifically Nanette, it’s pretty fascinating. If you’ve seen the special already and liked it, I’d strongly recommend reading this book and re-watching the show. The nuances and complexity of the performance are enhanced even further once you’ve been exposed to the intricacies of how it was built, from the concept right down to certain images and words.
I began to write a comedy show that was not funny. I comedy show in which I refused to seek the laugh, refused to pull my punches and turn them into tickles as a comedian is supposed to. I began to write a show that would drive my punches deeper into the metaphorical gut of my audience. I was going to repurpose comedy into something that could allow me to express the heat of my anger and the pain of my trauma, but without transferring it. It was a bold idea, but bold ideas will often happen when desperation pushes a creative brain to find a solution. — Hannah Gadsby / Ten Steps to Nanette.
Q - What’s a good standup show you’ve seen lately?
IV. FROM THE ARCHIVES
An old story from my blog brought to you in a new way.
WIDOWS & DIVORCEES (NOVEMBER 2016): I've had that bug lately. That feeling when I went out to a social engagement and think, Maybe I'll meet THE person of my dreams tonight. And I get all excited and slowly as the night progressed, the excitement turned into dread as I realized once again that she was not here. I understand this creates an aura of desperation around me and I am okay with that.
In the National Post (I know), I read about how in Shanghai Ikea is banning elderly people because they are using the store as a real life dating app. But these brave widows and divorcees are not quitting:
The “matchmakers” are refusing to quit the Ikea restaurant, despite the new rules. Many bring their own water and steamed buns, but buy some inexpensive croissants. “I guess few people know just how lonely old people are,” said a retired woman named as Xu by a Shanghai news website. “Our kids are not around, and some visit only on weekends. I feel quite good when I come here. I talk with friends, but some elderly do meet people who become lovers.”
I'm not in the elderly category (although I feel like it sometimes) and I'm not divorced or a widow (although I feel like it sometimes), but I understand them. Plus I needed a new side table, so I decided on a trip to Ikea. Besides, I had meatballs the previous week, but not SWEDISH meatballs.
Read the entire story at this link.
Q - When was the last time you were in Ikea? Did you find love? Or at least the furniture you were looking for?
V. WATCH, LISTEN, READ, OR DO
Something to take with you.
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I secretly published a new book last year. Secretly meaning that I just never got around to telling anyone about it. This might have to do with what I mentioned up top, that I am no longer really that active on social media. If you’d like to check it out, it’s called I’m Leaving It and Other Stories and is available at the links below:
Most of the stories are available on the Storytime Podcast. Read and/or performed by the author (me).
It’s a really good book! And that’s a lot coming from me! Maybe I’m quitting writing and this will be my last book! Who knows?! Exclamation marks!
Q - What’s a good book you’ve read lately?
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve included a question at the end of each section. No, this isn’t required homework. However, if you are compelled to write to me with your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. Who knows, I might even share some of the answers in future newsletters (anonymously, of course). Email me here: jpd@pauldore.com.
April 2022 Edition: Weird / Everyone is Missing / Trampoline Hall / Buried Alive / Hammers & Nails.