Included Below: Multi-tasking / The Invisibles / Pretend it’s a City / Talking to People / I’m Leaving It. Click HERE for further information about this newsletter. To those from before and those who are new-
I. WELCOME
Talking to people is hard.
Before the winter holidays, one of the last things I did before we went back into the lockdown before this one but after the last one, was spend the day walking around with a friend. All we did was walk and talk for five hours. Sure, there was serious topics, but also, there was silly stuff. This is one of the things I miss most - just having unstructured conversations with people.
Of course, I am grateful that we have all sorts of technology to keep us connected. But, is it just me or do other people feel the difference between these two forms of interaction (in person and online)? Zooming and texting were already part of the way we communicated before, perhaps it’s because now we have no options?
Besides communication, I’ve noticed other changes. I used to be able to multi-task with ease. Moving freely between phone calls and emails and reading and writing. Now, let’s say someone calls me, I might have to ask for a second for my brain to catch up to what we’re talking about. Before I could work through fatigue. Now I’ll just hit a wall, exhausted and in a foggy haze. I’m doing alright besides that, things could be worse.
It was reported in The Atlantic that in the United States, the number of people reporting symptoms of anxiety disorder, depressive disorder, or both roughly quadrupled from 2019 to 2020. “What’s more, we simply don’t know the long-term effects of collective, sustained grief. Longitudinal studies of survivors of Chernobyl, 9/11, and Hurricane Katrina show elevated rates of mental-health problem, in some cases lasting for more than a decade.”
So, take care of yourself and your friends and loved ones. I’m hoping these changes in my brain capacity are temporary and that cognitively, I can get my mind (perhaps my only attractive quality) functioning up to my normal standards, instead of it feeling like a dial-up modem. But also, maybe there is some sort of lesson here? With the bombardment of every day information, perhaps my brain was functioning at an unsustainable and unnatural level?
Or maybe I just need to talk to people again? I started writing this a couple weeks ago after spending the afternoon walking around a schoolyard track with a friend. I hadn’t seen anyone in person for a few months and my brain seemed pretty happy about the whole thing.
“We’re all walking around with some mild cognitive impairment,” said Mike Yassa, a neuroscientist at UC Irvine. “Based on everything we know about the brain, two of the things that are really good for it are physical activity and novelty. A thing that’s very bad for it is chronic and perpetual stress.” Living through a pandemic—even for those who are doing so in relative comfort — “is exposing people to microdoses of unpredictable stress all the time,” said Tina Franklin (neuroscientist at Georgia Tech), whose research has shown that stress changes the brain regions that control executive function, learning, and memory. — What the Pandemic is Doing to Our Brains / Ellen Cushing.
Q - What is the pandemic doing to your brain? Notice anything?
II. TALES FROM THE DREAM ROOM
Each month welcomes an exclusive story from a parallel world.
The Dream Room is a place that where everything is interconnected. The sights and sounds and people that inhabit this world feel familiar. The tales pulled from the Dream Room are sometimes true and sometimes fiction, they may scare you or make you laugh. The Dream Room is a place not to be taken lightly and if you’re ready to enter, read the excerpt below and click on the link for the full story.
THE INVISIBLES: If you take away all of your online profiles, have all your data erased, find your passwords don’t work anymore, and your devices stop functioning, do you become invisible? Not in a metaphorical way, but I guess also in a metaphorical way. I mean, literally invisible. You can’t access any banking or be able to get identification or even call anyone.
This is what happened to me. About two weeks ago, I woke up and did what I immediately do - reached for my phone on the side table. I typed in my password and the screen went blank. It was an old phone and I figured that it had finally died. But then my computer wouldn’t turn on.
What do I do in this situation? I don’t even know who to call. All of these automated systems that we’ve come to rely on are just so faceless and impersonal. The whole point of them is to function in such a way that you don’t have to have contact. If there’s a breakdown in one of the links in the chain, it can be fixed because of its relation to another link. But what if the entire chain is gone?
Read the whole story at this link.
Q - Have you ever felt lonely while around a big group of people?
III. PAUL’S PICKS.
A recommendation of something watched, read, or listened to.
I always knew of Fran Lebowitz, honestly, mostly through appearances on late night talk shows. But I always stopped and listened to her. Her sarcasm and wit is right up my alley. I feel like she practices a form of constructive complaining, where she is unafraid to just state what she’s thinking with no filters. The series, Pretend It’s A City, is really just her talking with longtime friend and admirer Martin Scorsese. And they just genuinely seem to enjoy each other’s company. But, I could watch and listen to Fran talking to just about anyone, especially Spike Lee and Toni Morrison.
If you want the full Fran effect, in addition to the series, her book, The Fran Lebowitz Reader is a good companion. And if you’re looking for a laugh, she likes to write Amazon reviews, such as this one for a portable cement mixer:
Thank goodness it’s portable. For when I need to mix cement, on the go. You see, this is the problem with society. We’ve become so fixated on this idea of multitasking—getting multiple things done at once—that we can’t even mix cement without texting and eating a sandwich. If your job is mixing cement, just focus on the cement, O.K.? Lunch can wait.
Q - For the past year, I’ve been big into documentary series - have any recommendations?
IV. FROM THE ARCHIVES.
An old story brought to you in a new way.
Going way back to 2013, I wrote this piece about social isolation, and some things seem oddly familiar to my experience of the last year. Especially at this time as things start to open up (and keep closing and opening). To get a book over the finish line, I went to New York for a few weeks to just hang out and write. I came back and realized just how isolated I had become in Toronto, something I think can happen in a variety of ways.
This rambling story gets into finding a community with the Centre for Social Innovation and participating in a talent show. This talent show was the first time I ever got up in front of people and told a story. I was probably terrible, but I like to think I have gotten marginally better at it.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE (November 2013): Last year I started working almost exclusively from my home office. Something I've always wanted to be in the position to do. But I know myself well enough to understand that I needed to get out of the house, set up things to do - writerly events, social engagements - in order to not fully isolate myself. Unfortunately, as the months alone wore on, that's exactly what happened. I think it's easy to get isolated in a city.
If you wake up late - always - and your back hurts, it feels like someone punched you directly on the brain, you're hungover but didn't drink a drop the previous night, you wear sunglasses even without the sun to hide the bags under your eyes that reveal the terrifying yet forgotten dream state buried deep in the subconscious that left you restless and you can't imagine talking to someone until the clock turns to the PM. And then still - still - cannot perform simple societal exchanges that represent the hallmark of being a functioning person participating in this world wanting to just walk into a café to get a coffee because you need it desperately to wash away the forgotten nightmares but this simple excursion involves true existential dread, yes dread, in order to even attempt to answer the barista’s quizzical question: for here or to go? Then you are my people and I've been looking everywhere for you.
Maybe I had a problem? All that time alone, isolated, I didn't know how to talk with people anymore. Learned self-preservation and close-mindedness. And when people came along wanting me to open up, I didn't know how to speak their language. But with any language, I had to start learning how to speak.
Read the whole story at this link.
Q - How has online communication been incorporated into your life?
V. WATCH, LISTEN, READ, OR DO.
Something to take with you.
So, I’ve been sitting on a new book. I finished it last year, but wanted to wait to release it. I like doing live events around the launch of a book. Things have obviously dragged on, and I’m going to be releasing it soon. I received the proof of the paperback and really just wanted to share the book cover with you. It was designed by the incredibly talented Ellen Yu, who actually also did the logo and type for The Dream Room. I’ve worked with Ellen since my first book and she is so amazing at what she does. All I have to do is share a few details about the book and some visual ideas, and she does the rest. If you need any graphic design work, I am happy to connect you with her.
I’m also sharing this because I’ll be offering some exclusive giveaways to all of you wonderful subscribers. Details will be coming soon!
Q - Do you have any favourite book cover designs that you’d like to share? Also, what do you think about the I’m Leaving It cover?
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve included a question at the end of each section. No, this isn’t required homework. However, if you are compelled to write to me with your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. Who knows, I might even share some of the answers in future newsletters (anonymously, of course). Email me here: jpd@pauldore.com.
March 2021 Edition: Ships / Ascension by Wonder / The Audacity / You Gotta Fight! / Fan Fiction.
I think I'm looking at my favourite book cover design. Congrats to Ellen for the cover art and congrats to you for what I'm sure will be some great stories behind the cover.
I miss having our silly conversations and am looking forward to post-covid get togethers IRL. Perhaps SWDT can host a post-pandemic parlour one day? Please tell Stefan to get on the social media banner art: "Post-Pandemic Parlour: Taking Back Alliteration".
xo, Rob