Included Below: Banana Gardens / Institute of Madness and Confusion / Crying in the Bathroom / Crybaby / Stories We Don’t Tell. Click HERE for further information about this newsletter. To those from before and those who are new-
I. WELCOME!
Banana Gardens.
I’ve gone and done it again.
I’ve previously mentioned that I’ve unintentionally been a part of other people’s celebrations - funerals, birthdays, gender reveal parties. Now I can add wedding engagements to that list.
A couple of weeks ago I was hiking through High Park in Toronto. I live in the neighbourhood and am in the park several times a week. In the south part of the park there are some gardens that overlook Grenadier Pond. I like to stop here, rest, and have a snack.
When I’m walking around I’m usually in my own world, lost in thought, not paying attention. Sitting on a bench, I was about halfway through a banana when a group of four people came into focus. There were two couples and a man from one set got down on his knee, proposed, she said yes (I assume), and he put a ring on her finger.
As they embraced I noticed that the other couple each had their phones out and were filming the proposal. It was here when I realized that I was perfectly in the background of their shot. It did make me happy that later that day when they posted the proposal to social media there would be a lot of congratulations but also the inevitable comment from someone that said: “So happy for you! But, who is that weird guy in the background eating a banana?”
I was even thinking of starting a business. In a recent This American Life episode, they profiled a man who interrupted funerals. He was hired by the deceased (before they died, of course) to relay a message at their funeral. Let’s be honest, it’s very difficult to make wedding and engagement photographs unique and special. You can hire me - The Photobomber - and I will show up in the background and make your photographs the unique snowflakes that you deserve.
Q - Have you ever unintentionally interrupted an important event?
II. TALES FROM THE DREAM ROOM
Each month welcomes an exclusive story from a parallel world.
The Dream Room is a place that where everything is interconnected. The sights and sounds and people that inhabit this world feel familiar. The tales pulled from the Dream Room are sometimes true and sometimes fiction, they may scare you or make you laugh. The Dream Room is a place not to be taken lightly and if you’re ready to enter, read the excerpt below and click on the link for the full story.
THE INSTITUTE OF MADNESS AND CONFUSION: A few months back I moved into a new apartment building. I actually lived down the street and always had my eye on this building. It was one of those old places that had personality and character.
When I move somewhere new or even if I’m just travelling and staying in a hotel, I like to explore the building, locate all the entrances and exits, and so on. You never know when this might come in handy. I was down in the basement where the laundry room and bike storage was located. Every building has its quirks or odd design. I noticed two strange things in the basement. First, there were lots of doors with new padlocks on them. Even with the new locks, some of them had thick spider webs along the door-jamb. Second, for a section of the hallway, there were steel panels along one side of the floor. And coming from these panels was a sound like fast moving water flowed underneath.
Finally, after being in the basement a few times, I pulled up one of the metal panels and there was actually water flowing through a tunnel. I leaned into the opening to get a better look down the tunnel. I leaned a bit too far and slipped, falling into the water. It was so fast moving that the water sucked me down the tunnel, my head bobbing up and down the surface. The sides of the tunnel were smooth and slippery and I couldn’t get a grip to stop.
Read the whole story at this link.
a woman, a
tire that’s flat, a
disease, a
desire: fears in front of you,
fears that hold so still
you can study them
like pieces on a
chessboard…
it’s not the large things that
send a man to the
madhouse. death he’s ready for, or
murder, incest, robbery, fire, flood…
no, it’s the continuing series of small tragedies
that send a man to the
madhouse…
not the death of his love
but a shoelace that snaps
with no time left …— From The Shoelace by Charles Bukowski. Referencing this poem makes sense when you read the full story.
Q - When was the last time you were in a place that you should not have been?
III. PAUL’S PICKS
A recommendation of something watched, read, or listened to.
One thing I have missed over the last three years was just being able to feel comfortable browsing in a bookstore. After doing curb-side for over three years, I’ve been hanging out in bookstores again. And I forgot how much I love just finding a book by liking the title or cover or blurb on the back and taking a chance.
It’s so great when it pays off!
I picked up Crying in the Bathroom by Erika L. Sánchez and pretty much instantly ordered her other book. Her writing is just so fantastic and it’s the first book in a long time that has just made me literally laugh out loud. I’m laughing and then, on the same page she will find a way to be poignant and moving. She is incredibly open about relationships, family, abortion, mental health, and writing. She is also a poet and has a podcast and just seems like an incredibly talented and creative person who I would very much like to be friends with.
I belonged nowhere and everywhere all at once. I still live in this contradiction. I think we forget that people are composed of multitudes, contain many selves. I was never fully Mexican or American, and in Spain I was even more disoriented, so, in a sense, I became my own home. Virginia Woolf once said: “As a woman I have no country. As a woman I want no country. As a woman my country is the whole world.” When you don’t belong, you learn to make a nest in the unknown. — — From Crying in the Bathroom / Erika L. Sánchez.
Q - Any book recommendations?
IV. FROM THE ARCHIVES
An old story from my blog brought to you in a new way.
CRYBABY (OCTOBER 2018): Maybe it’s because there have been times that I felt unloved (which is really quite untrue, the being unloved part - the keyword is ‘felt’). That is a problem and one that I’ve been making attempts at solving. How can I be at the last Stories We Don’t Tell, looking out over a crowd of fascinating people all talking to each other and excited that we are all here together, and not feel loved? I certainly had to take a break or two during that event.
The tears are for a lot of different reasons, all of them related to my perception of myself. Something has been shifting on my insides and certain internal land masses are breaking apart. I do think this is a good thing, but I wouldn’t necessarily call it pleasant. I wouldn’t say that I’m sad, I don’t think that’s it either.
I will say that I hesitated even writing about this. We’re still living in a world where it is deemed weak for a man to cry. Isn’t this a bunch of bull shit? I feel that we need to get over this already, that we need to recognize that we are just people, and holding all that shit in can’t be healthy.
My decision around this has just been to let it all out. Maybe I’ve been holding it all in? Maybe I have just been walking around, all walled off, not sure what to do with it all? I feel as though I’ve just been on guard for a really long time, too long. I’ve had to keep myself in check and not reveal the true nature of my feelings.
Read the whole story at this link.
Q - When was the last time you cried?
V. WATCH, LISTEN, READ, OR DO
Something to take with you.
I know this section of the newsletter is getting somewhat repetitive. Look, we’ve been in a pandemic - it’s been hard to do new stuff with groups of people. I’m working on it.
Cross all your fingers and toes and with any luck, the Stories We Don’t Tell Crew will be making an earth shattering announcement very soon. For now, you know the drill - we have a ton of content over on the SWDT website that includes podcasts, articles, and resources about storytelling. Check it out below and follow us on Facebook to hear about that big announcement.
SWDT Podcast: 144 episodes of writing tips, tricks, and secrets of the storytelling trade. Plus, tons of live stories from the event.
SWDT Blog: if you don’t like listening to something, a lot of the episodes are transcribed here. Plus, other writerly things.
SWDT Book: I don’t know where you’re at, but it’s been freezing in my neck of the woods. If you’d like to cozy up with some great stories, get your very own copy of the book.
Q - If you listen to the SWDT Podcast, what’s your favourite story?
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve included a question at the end of each section. No, this isn’t required homework. However, if you are compelled to write to me with your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. Who knows, I might even share some of the answers in future newsletters (anonymously, of course). Email me here: jpd@pauldore.com.
July 2022 Edition: Gadsby Redux / Home Alone / Kuper Island / The Accidental Detective / The Walking Man.