Included Below: Stay in Your Lane / Pipes / Essex County / Community / Stories We Don’t Tell Yet Again. Click HERE for further information about this newsletter. To those from before and those who are new-
I. WELCOME!
Stay in your lane.
A few weeks ago, I went for a canoe ride on Lake Ontario with a new friend. After expressing my interest to participate in more activities that took place on water, this new friend let me know he had access to a canoe. So, one evening we pulled a canoe on to a dolly and rolled it across the Gardiner and Lakeshore Boulevard and lowered it in to the water. As I was getting in, the first thing that happened was I slipped on the algae-covered cement and most of my right leg dropped into the cold water. We were off to a great start.
We got lucky with the weather and it was calm, clear, and warm for late September. Our canoe was pretty much the only water vehicle happening except for the odd rowers who seemed to be training for something. Unbeknownst to me, and something I only learned at a later date, was that there are lanes of passage and right of ways on the water. I thought that was the point of being out on the water - the freedom to just go anywhere. Within safety reasons, of course.
A team of rowers was passing us. If they were competitive rowers, they were usually being followed by another boat with the coach, who sometimes had a bullhorn, and shouted directions at them. The rowers passed us and the coach, an old crusty-looking guy, also passed us, but felt it necessary to yell and scream at us for canoeing in the wrong place. I was hoping he would come a bit closer to us so I could smack him upside the head with my paddle. Not hard, just enough to stop his face from saying anymore words.
I don’t think people are doing alright these days. A real reactive culture we’ve established. A bunch of divas, if you ask me. I’d also throw in they don’t like to take responsibility for their diva meltdowns either. Especially not older dudes, but that could just be my experience.
Many years ago, I taught figure skating in what seems like another life. A student of mine was a boy about twelve years old. Weird kid, quiet, the kind I most liked to work with because I was a weird and quiet kid. One day during practice some hockey boys were in the stands making fun of my student in his figure skates. Big surprise: hockey leagues and associations create ridiculously toxic environments which breeds toxic people (ahem, re: the news).
Anyhoo.
I got off the ice and calmly told the hockey kids that they were being inappropriate and they had to leave the arena stands. Oh, boy, their parents (sitting right behind them) did not take kindly to me reprimanding their kids (side note: if you ever find yourself saying, “Don’t talk to my kid that way,” maybe look deep into your self). So, I also reprimanded the adults for not only condoning this type of behaviour but actively encouraging it. Told them to leave as well.
I didn’t care about teaching the hockey kids a lesson. Nor did I do that stupid thing of making them apologize, which would have just embarrassed my student, and to be frank and realistic, potentially have violent ramifications down the road. I just wanted them to be jerks somewhere else. In the moment I recognized that my weird and quiet male figure skating student might have appreciated seeing a male adult stick up for him. Silly me.
My point is that the rowing coach had an opportunity to show his students not only how an authority figure acts, but how a grown adult acts. Instead of showing them how to throw a temper tantrum. I mean, we very much need more adults these days.
But also, I still would have liked to smack him with my paddle.
Q - Who has annoyed you recently? You can tell me, I’ll keep it a secret.
II. TALES FROM THE DREAM ROOM
Each month welcomes an exclusive story from a parallel world.
The Dream Room is a place that where everything is interconnected. The sights and sounds and people that inhabit this world feel familiar. The tales pulled from the Dream Room are sometimes true and sometimes fiction, they may scare you or make you laugh. The Dream Room is a place not to be taken lightly and if you’re ready to enter, read the excerpt below and click on the link for the full story.
PIPES: I went upstairs to may apartment and the property manager knocked on my door about twenty minutes later. Like I assumed, the clanging noise had stopped. He pretended to check out the radiators and said, “Sometimes when we turn the heat on the first time, air is trapped in the radiators. When the water hits the air, it makes the banging noise.” Sure, whatever. I wanted to play him the recordings, but he was very disinterested. I just hit play and we waited. And waited. The recordings were still on my phone, but they were silent. No clanging. The property manager wasn’t impressed. He left saying, “Just turn the radiators fully on. When we turn the heat on, the water will knock the air out. No more clanging.”
Of course, that night the clanging returned, even though I followed instructions. Now I couldn’t sleep. Not necessarily because of the noise, but what to do about it. There seemed to be a pattern to the banging. It seemed to be three short bangs, three longer bangs, followed by three more shorter ones. I got out of bed and went to my desk, turning on the light and opening my notebook. I wrote this pattern down and looked up Morse Code. Three taps = the letter S. Three longer bangs = the letter O. And three more taps, another S.
SOS.
I put on some clothes and went outside into the hallway. I could hear the SOS in the walls.
Click on this link to read the whole story.
Q - Has anything strange happened to you lately?
III. PAUL’S PICKS
A recommendation of something watched, read, or listened to.
I have a confession to make: the last few months, I’ve gone down a graphic novel hole. As a kid, I collected comic books - not like the Marvel and DC universes of today with entire studios devoted to churning out television shows and movies. Except for Batman (Michael Keaton is the best Batman and Michelle Pfeiffer is the best Catwoman, come at me), this 1990 Captain America movie was about all we had. My interest in comics went away because I became an adult.
Through the Toronto Public Library, you can have access to a huge library of comics and graphic novels. I had been watching The Walking Dead (yeah, I’m always late to the party) and was curious about the source material. This quickly led me to discover that there was a strand of comics that had definitely matured past superheroes and had gotten much darker. Some of my favourites being Gideon Falls (I’m still not entirely sure what this was about, still, pretty cool), Blacksad (a noir about a cat that is a private detective? Come on. Also, builds out a world made up of animals well before Bojack Horseman), Ice Cream Man (the title is misleading), and Under-Earth, among many others.
The one closest to a novel, in my opinion, was a 2011 book by Jeff Lemire. Set in an imaginary version of the author’s farming community hometown, Essex County, Ontario. It tells interconnected stories about a young boy dealing with grief, two brothers that become estranged, and a nurse that revels the scars of an entire town. The author crafts a tender meditation on family, memory, grief, secrets, and reconciliation.
The simple imagery and powerful storytelling something quite unique and special.
Q - Any graphic novel recommendations?
IV. FROM THE ARCHIVES
An old story from my blog brought to you in a new way.
COMMUNITY (DECEMBER 2018): At the beginning of the talk, the moderator asked for a show of hands those people who considered themselves to be a community builder. At least half the audience raised their hands. I did not. This is not something I’ve thought about in regards to what I do, at least, not in any intentional way. Talking with a friend after the panel, he referred to me as a community builder because of Stories We Don’t Tell. This gave me pause, as I’d never really considered the event in this capacity before.
On my walk home, I kept thinking about something that came up during the conversation - the concept of building an intentional community. What about an unintentional community? At the start of Stories We Don’t Tell, it really was about expanding on our own experiences with writing and storytelling and sharing it with a wider audience.
Read the whole story at this link.
Q - How do you participate in your community?
V. WATCH, LISTEN, READ, OR DO
Something to take with you.
I’ll stop talking about Stories We Don’t Tell when there’s nothing more to say about Stories We Don’t Tell. We finally were able to hold an in-person event and it was really quite special. The audience didn’t forget about us and we had a packed house. Speaking of houses, the event was held at a location where we’ve had many shows in the past, so it was fitting to make our illustrious return there.
The storytellers were incredible, the audience was amazing, and the house was inviting. I did tell a story and I must admit that I was a bit nervous, not having done this for a few years. But, it’s like we picked up right where we left off.
We’re easing back into things and our next event will be in January 2023. The easiest way to keep up to date with Stories We Don’t Tell is to join our mailing list. And if you happen to have a story you’d like to tell at a future event, please fill out this form.
For all things Stories We Don’t Tell - event news, podcast, books - please visit the website. Hope to see you at the next one!
Q - If you were at the event or a previous one, tell me what you thought of SWDT.
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve included a question at the end of each section. No, this isn’t required homework. However, if you are compelled to write to me with your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. Who knows, I might even share some of the answers in future newsletters (anonymously, of course). Email me here: jpd@pauldore.com.
September 2022 Edition: My Pillow Guy / The Grid / Rothaniel / Guest Blog / Stories We Don’t Tell Redux.